Fear is to Hate as Love is to
by Antiquity's Disgrace
Summary: Christine finally tells Raoul what she should have done a long time ago, but will that keep him from claiming what's "his? ...First fanfic, please R&R!Chapter 2 Now up!
1. With time comes change

_**Disclaimer**: No, sadly I don't own the Phantom of the Opera or anything to do with it, it belongs to a bunch of other lucky people **not fair! **_ :P

_**A/N**: Christine finally comes to her senses… no one likes Raoul anyhow! Read on to find out more………_

Fear is to Hate as Love is to… 

Christine looked down at her wedding ring, twisting it gently around her small finger. Silence was her only company now whilst Raoul was away on business. He was due back any day now and although a part of her was glad he was coming home soon, the other half of her, her soul, her heart were begging that he stayed away just a little bit longer. She paced towards the window and looked outside to a paled sky awash with sapphire regret and midnight sorrow. Something would not let her linger or dare to dream upon the obvious beauty. She turned to face her room it was large and beautifully furnished, Lavishly decorated and yet humble.

A voice inside her mind kept asking her, what did she know about beauty? What was it anyway? Christine walked towards her vanity, picked up her brush and dragged it through her dark locks.

How could she! Ever since that fateful night at the Opera Populaire she couldn't help but mentally beat herself up. When her heart panged with fear and anxiety she would lap up the pain and enjoy every minute of it, this was her punishment for…..Christine stared at her brush as her hair collected upon its bristles. Was it the right thing to do, in choosing Raoul? Did she mistake a strong friendship for love? Just because he loved her it didn't mean she loved him, she didn't have to return Raoul's love she didn't have to do anything. And yet she felt obligated to do so but then what about Erik? All he had ever done was love her, care for her and yet her childish ignorance had got the better of her. Raoul had been a child hood friend, which meant he loved her more than Erik did right? He knew her longer. The Phantom wasn't in love with her, he just wanted to break a young heart – he was evil and that's all he wanted to inflict on others this madness, which he disguised as love. He wanted to make others suffer in pain. This was the story wasn't it? This was the truth she had known for so long right? She loved Raoul and Hated Erik, yes hated him for being so bloody selfish. She knew it all now…didn't she? It had been so clear a year ago but now in that time she had matured so much, nothing was clear to her any more.

Erik…

Suddenly there was a knock upon her bedroom door. Raoul was home, she had been so deep in thought she hadn't heard the front door go. Christine clasped her hands together in a silent prayer

"Give me strength oh lord! Please! Give me strength to find my answers! With that she walked towards the door.

"Christine? Darling are you in there?" she spun round. She had once again become wrapped within her memories, no longer could she suppress them.

"Yes Raoul, I am in here, please come in"

"Christine! Lord how I have missed you!

Yes he was handsome she thought, terribly handsome but still her thoughts, the emotions she had tried for too long to rid herself, had finally got the better of her.

"Raoul I have missed you too".

"I have a present for you", he handed her a small box, rounded at its edges. The young lady glanced up at his face.

"Open it love", Christine pinched the clasp and it opened revealing a stunning emerald surrounded by four opals one in each corner, it was lovely she had to admit.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it!" Raoul placed the ring on his beloved's finger. For a moment she was mesmerized by the capturing shine.

Raoul stepped forward and embraced his wife tightly, then his lips met hers and she returned his kiss. How could there be passion in a kiss given to the wrong person? What the Hell was happening to her?! Every thing with in her fleshed prison screamed out 'Leave this love struck idiot! It's your life, don't stay for him and destroy two lives! Return to your true lover and feel that joy you haven't felt for so long! Return to your Phantom, passion, return to your angel of music! A slight smile crept upon Christine's lips then suddenly vanished as she continued to stare up at Raoul. He was not for her. She knew that now. There was someone else out there, someone who would truly love him, and him alone. Someone who would feel true feelings of love for him, a love that only lovers can feel for one another. She pulled away from his arms and sat on the bed.

"Raoul, I- I cannot lie to you like this you have given me so much and been so loyally true. But for the life of me Raoul I am so sorry, I cannot do this! No longer can I hide behind this mask!" a mask! She remembered _his_ mask and smiled.

"Christine my love what do you mean? I don't understand…I thou…"

"Raoul I – I, I don't love you!" she'd said it! Those words, which she had wanted to say for so long, not in spite but in the reality of truth, it would be crueller for him to not know the truth… Raoul fell to his knees. Christine walked to her husband, and kissed his forehead. He pushed her away. His breathing had grown quicker.

"Its _him_ isn't it?" Christine knew she was breaking Raoul's heart, but he had broken hers for too long.

"I- I…"

"Christine think straight! Think rationally! Listen to yourself, all this time and still _his_ spell imprisons you! You don't love him…" She was, to be frank, pissed off now.

"How dare you! How dare you tell me who I can and cannot love!"

Christine, as your husband, as someone who loves you so much, who would die for you, I am merely trying to make you see sense."

"Die for me?! Ha! Its all bullshit..."

"Chri…!"

She wasn't about to be stopped now.

"You idiot! And as for seeing sense, this is the first time for a year that I am! I LOVE ERIK!!"

She had never spoke to Raoul like this before, to anyone like it. It simply was not her and yet some part of her liked it. 'Give the bastard what he had coming!' Yes! She thought, 'he would not die of physical harm, but instead a broken heart'

Christine looked at him, his face in his hands, a tear slipped down her fare skin. No, That was too cruel. Even in the state she was in she realised this as she fled from the room leaving Raoul in shock. Escaping before he could comprehend just what had happened. Christine tasted bitter tears, but they were not of sadness but joy! She felt her heart free its pain. She had been carrying such a heavy burden before but now it had been lifted. No longer was she afraid of those three words that had tortured her soul. No, now they were nothing but pleasure!

"I love Erik," she whispered softly as her body fell into the mercy of the outside cold…

A/N: Will Christine find Erik in time? Does he still love her? What will that (cough)idiot(cough) Raoul do now? Is it too late for love?

Well find out in the next chapter! But only if you R & R!!

_Gets down on her knees…. Review!… pleeeeeeeease! _


	2. Where there's a will there's a way

**A/N: _A big thank you to all of you who reviewed, they were much appreciated! _:)**

_**Well there's not a lot to say except that I hope you enjoy Chapter two…**_

Christine's face was now drained of blood, bled whiter than snow. The moon cast ghostly shadows around her and silhouetted her slim figure against its own glory. This was it she thought, she had made a stupid decision in the past but that was long behind her. The Opera Populaire was about six miles from Raoul's mansion and although she could have asked the snoozing stable boy to take her there by carriage, she dare not use Raoul's help again. Be it indirect or direct. She had to follow her heart on her own and when her love was with her she knew nothing would ever tear them away from one another's ever lasting embrace again. Nothing. The frost tipped grass crunched beneath her feet. Christine liked the crisp touch. If she hurried she could be at the opera house by noon the following day. She could already make out the dashes of purples, pinks and yellows each streaking the sky with invincible powered beauty.

Clutching her cross, which was now swinging loosely around her neck, Christine promised her heart that with the new sun she would make this promise, it was Erik all the way! Raoul was no longer in the picture, he should never have been painted and now a blank, new canvas was going to be used, a new start, it was Erik or no one.

The first notes of the bird's morning song filled Christine's ears and a faint smile came across her lips. The purple hoped dawn filled the sky; suddenly she heard a silent clip clopping of hooves. Hooves within a distant dark.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Raoul tossed and turned, he hadn't slept all night, how could he? Whenever he closed his eyes she was there. When he opened them again, she was there; and yet it was all a painful illusion. He had arranged to have lunch with Christine today- but now, how could he even begin to think about dragging himself out of bed to cancel the booking? Suddenly a thought struck him, anxious hope flowing through his veins…She had been looking forward to this lunch for ages, it was after all his and Christine's anniversary. Christine was simply upset and would be at the restaurant waiting for him, ready to apologise for her actions the night before. After all, Raoul thought, it was her fault all I did was love her.

With this new spark of hope Raoul leapt out of bed, had a bath and changed quickly, yelling constantly at the servants as he did this. The stable boy was already waiting with Raoul's Frisian stallion, he hated being shouted out. Doesn't every one!?

The wind was howling relentlessly as the day slowly died. Raoul pushed the horse harder, he wanted to meet Christine; he couldn't keep his beloved waiting! Eventually he arrived at the largest restaurant in town. He had been galloping recklessly fast, at break-neck speed and now his horse was sweating fiercely the whites of its eyes showing wildly.

"Blasted animal", Raoul handed the reins to the young man waiting at the entrance. He ran in searching frantically for Christine, no! She was nowhere in sight!

"Can I help you there sir?"

"Ah, no, no, I'm quit- oh wait yes, ummm...Reserved seating under Victome de Chagney…"

"Ah yes, right this way sir!"

Raoul didn't look at the waiter; Raoul didn't look anywhere in fact, but the empty seat in front of him. _Where are you? _He said under his breath, heart still racing.

_Where are you?_

All of a sudden Raoul looked up as the door swung open. Was it Christie? Alas, no, a woman magnificently dressed, perhaps a little over the top for where she was now, but still, Raoul couldn't help but notice how stunning she looked. No! He thought, he would look no longer…he wanted Christine to come back to him…only Christine!

The time ticked by; seconds as minutes, minutes became hours and hours became a vicious eternity, still Raoul's heart began to sink lower and lower still, his mind kept repeating her name over and over again yet. Christine. CHRISTINE!

Though it killed him to finally realise the truth of what had happened and in his heart he had know all along, Raoul finally ordered something. His darling wasn't coming and Raoul figured that he might as well eat something. Anything, but something.

The young woman lavishly dressed in blue satin, her dress detailed in every way and yet so plain, so lovely, began to stare at Raoul. Who was he? She had definitely seen him before! Eventually her curiosity could be quietened no longer. She just _had _to satisfy it, to feed it on the bread of Knowledge.

The woman walked past Raoul's table, gracefully…but oh so purposely knocking the vase of flowers on his table, spilling dying flowers and death stained water all over the table. Drip dripping onto the floor.

"Oh my! I'm terribly sorry! I won't simply have you sit by yourself, waiting for some ignorant waiters to clear this mess that really was my fault!" she looked across to the waiters wrinkling her nose as she did so.

"Uh…no…"

"No I simply insist! Come, come!" Raoul was in no mood for an argument but then neither was he in the right mood for talking to any one. Alas there was nothing he could do. He sat down at the woman's table nervously.

"You must be Raoul! The one who only recently got married to the beautiful soprano Christine! I don't mean to pry but…ummm…you don't look very…well, if you forgive me saying such a thing, uh, were you waiting for someone?"

"As a matter of fact, yes, I was but ummm…she, I mean he was busy…bu…bu…_Oh it's terrible! JUST terrible! That bloody Erik! And his evil magic enchantments! Stealing MY Christine! Not his! And now she's gone in search of him no doubt. She doesn't mean this "love" I know it! I know! She still loves me, she does I tell you, she bloody well does_!" Raoul collapsed in a large heap on the table in front of the blue dressed stranger; crying his heart out, all the more. The surrounding people has ceased their chatter as silence leapt into the room and stood there, waiting, watching who would be the one to defeat it?

Suddenly the woman looked around, eyes narrow slits as she asked the silent question; _what are you all staring at?_ They instantly returned to their conversations, now perhaps a decimal or two quieter than before.

"Now, now Raoul, if you don't mind me calling you by your first name, its quite alright…"

"I'm so sorry Mad…ummm…?"

"**_Lady_** Annabella

"I'm so sorry Lady Annabella, I truly am, and I had no right to have a such an out burst in front of a lady like that, please forgive me…I..."

"Its quite alright I tell you! One should never let one's feeling go unheard and allow them to fester and develop with in one for so long, it will drain you mentally and then lead on to physical suffering! Its oh so much easier to tell your problems to a complete stranger than some one close. Believe me, I know. You say you are having problems with Christine? Again I don't mean to pry, but…you needn't worry!"

"Why ever not? She's going to find that Phantom idiot and tell the monster that she loves him, _he'll_ finally get what _he_ wants and I will have been beaten by some ugly guy in a bloody mask! How could she do this to me? Me! Of all people! After all…" Raoul was trying fiercely now, to fight back the winning tears.

"Calm down sir! Think about it, if it is truly a spell upon your wife then love will prevail, it always does! And if she truly does love _him…_well…there are many ways of getting what you want…"

"What?! Are you going to help me…but why? I mean- I…"

"Like I said", there was a fire burning in her eyes now, "there are many ways of getting what _you_ want…"

**A/N:_ What is that seemingly mad woman on about? What is happening with Christine? What's that sound she can hear? Is there still time for her and Erik…or does Raoul have the upper hand?_**

**_Find out in Chapter 3 which will be up very soon…and remember, please tell me what you think so far, got any ideas? Then tell me! _:)_ Please Review_**

_**Still on her knees begging…review…PLEEEEEEEEASE! **_


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